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Jun
23
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“I’m going fishing.”
Really means…. “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.”
“Let’s take your car.”
Really means…. “Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of petrol.”
“Woman driver.”
Really means…. “Someone who doesn’t speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me.”
“I don’t care what color you paint the kitchen.”
Really means…. “As long as it’s not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white.”
“It’s a guy thing.”
Really means…. “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”
“Can I help with dinner?”
Really means…. “Why isn’t it already on the table?”
“Uh huh,” “Sure, honey,” or “Yes, dear.”
Really mean…. Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response like Pavlov’s dog drooling.
“Good idea.”
Really means…. “It’ll never work. And I’ll spend the rest of the day gloating.”
“Have you lost weight?”
Really means…. “I’ve just spent our last
